


Epilogue and Extras

by iteezwhatiteez1



Series: Time Travel Twins [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: A little out of character but once again, Drunk Han Solo, Epilogue, F/M, Gen, Himbo Anakin, I mostly did this for the jokes, Swearing, for the jokes, this is more crack whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29930265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iteezwhatiteez1/pseuds/iteezwhatiteez1
Summary: Short epilogues to my story Han Is So Tired of this Force Shit. Anakin and Padme when Luke and Leia are born plus Han and Chewie talking about everything Han learned about Luke and Leia's family. Written with eviltroyandevilabed.Can be read as standalone!“I. Am. Never. Having. Sex. With. You. Again.” Padme enunciated between pushes. “Go find Master Yoda if you get lonely.”
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Chewbacca & Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Time Travel Twins [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201190
Comments: 20
Kudos: 130





	1. The Twins' Birth

Padme screamed again, squeezing Anakin’s hand with all her strength. If she wasn’t holding his mechanical hand, she would have broken at least a finger or two by now.

“Can’t you do something more?!” He shouted at the doctor. “It shouldn’t hurt this much! Something’s wrong!”

The doctor sighed. “Mr. Amidala, Padme is doing fine. Some discomfort is to be expected during birth.”

“ _Some discomfort?!_ I’ve been tortured numerous times by Separatists, and _also_ by Chancellor Palpatine who turned out to be an all-powerful Sith lord. This is not just _some discomfort_!”

“Anakin,” Padme gritted out. “Do me a favor. _Shut. Up._ ”

Anakin immediately stopped. “Sorry, Angel.”

She glared at him. “You did this to me, you son of a bitch.”

“Sorry?”

“I. Am. Never. Having. Sex. With. You. Again.” She enunciated between pushes. “Go find Master Yoda if you get lonely.”

Anakin paled. She couldn’t be serious...right?

“They’re almost here, Padme, one more push,” the doctor instructed.

Padme screamed again and squeezed Anakin’s hand even harder, if that was possible. Next thing he knew, he was on the floor and a baby was crying. He got up quickly, hoping nobody saw him faint.

The doctor quickly passed the baby to him, Padme already pushing for the next one. He held the boy— _Luke_ , he realized—in his arms carefully. When he found out Padme was pregnant, he spent all nine months preparing the house, building cribs and toys, and reading books on childcare. He knew he had perfect form as he cradled Luke’s head.

Then Leia was born, screaming even louder than Padme had been. Unlike her brother, she did not stop. She screamed and screamed, shaking her tiny fists around until the doctor placed her in Padme’s arms. Anakin walked over and passed Luke to Padme too, the twins cradled on her chest.

Anakin kissed her forehead. “You did it, Padme.”

“They’re perfect,” she said. “Luke and Leia.”

There was a knock at the door, so Anakin went over to check it out while Padme held their children. It was Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. What were they doing here?

“Skyguy!” Ahsoka said, pushing past him. “Move, I want to see Padme.”

“Anakin, I came as soon as I heard,” Obi-Wan said, out of breath. “How’s Padme? Is she alright? How are you? Did you do the breathing exercises I told you about?”

Anakin laughed, pulling Obi-Wan into a hug. “I’m fine, Padme’s fine. The twins are fine,” he grabbed Obi-Wan’s arm and dragged him toward Padme.

Anakin gently held Leia’s tiny hand. “Luke, Leia, meet your Uncle Ben and Aunt Ahsoka.”

“Hell yeah!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “I’m _way_ cooler than your dad, don’t worry.”

“Uncle Ben?” Obi-Wan asked.

“We love you Obi-Wan,” Padme said. “But there’s no way they’ll be able to pronounce Obi-Wan anytime soon. Too many syllables.”

“It’s three?” Obi-Wan said.

“And Ben is one,” Padme replied proudly. Anakin smiled. The pain meds she was on were strong. She usually only got this way when she was _super_ drunk.

“But isn’t Ahsoka three syllables too?” Obi-Wan asked, still confused.

“Yeah,” Padme said. “What about it?”

“...Nothing.” Obi-Wan slowly reached out and rested his hand against Luke’s head. “Who was born first?”

“Luke.”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “Well, I guess we were all wrong then.”

“What do you mean wrong?” Anakin asked. He was insanely happy at the moment, but that didn't mean he wasn’t going to dropkick Obi-Wan’s ass if he was insulting his children.

“You didn’t hear?” he asked, a small smile on his face. “When adult Luke and Leia were here, they argued about that the entire time—about who was older. They came to the conclusion that Leia was older, but I always had my suspicions. Han Solo owes me ten credits.”

“I’m sorry, you _bet_ on which of my children were born first with a man who does not currently exist in this reality?” Padme asked.

“What do you mean? Of course he exists,” Obi-Wan said. “He was older than them. Probably running around the streets of Corellia as we speak. When he grows up and meets the twins, I will be collecting my payment.”

Anakin gave him a blank look.

“What? Just because _you all_ ignore me doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention.”

“I am way too drugged up to be having this conversation right now,” Padme said. “Anakin, I want to take a nap.”

“Of course,” he replied, silently shooing everybody else out.

“Stay with me?”

“Always,” Anakin said, sliding into the tiny hospital bed next to her. His feet hung off the end, but for once, he absolutely did not care.

He drifted off to sleep, and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor.

Padme threw a pillow on top of him. “You were hogging the covers.”


	2. Han and Chewie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime after returning to his own time, Han has a talk with Chewie.
> 
> This could also be considered standalone.

“You’re not gonna believe this one, Chewie,” Han said. “Darth Vader is actually Anakin Skywalker. _And_ -” He shook his finger. “Anakin Skywalker is also Leia’s father. She and Luke are twins.”

Chewie frowned. _That is very tragic, Han. I don’t know why you think this is funny._

“It’s not that I find it funny,” Han assured. “It’s just that I’ve had more time to process it than you _and_ I’m drunker than you.”

 _You’re_ always _drunker than me_ , Chewie replied. _I have a very high alcohol tolerance. You know this._

Han was already moved on by that point. “Oh yeah, and apparently Luke had a crush on me when we first met. Luke! Crushing on _me_!”

 _I assumed you knew,_ Chewie said.

“Knew?! How could I have known?!”

 _Neither of you were subtle. To be honest, I thought you had been sleeping together for a while before I caught you and the Princess making out in the hallway of_ my _ship_.

“Hey!” Han shouted. “It’s _my_ ship, _I’m_ the one who won it from Lando. Fair and square.”

Chewie burst into laughter, a strange barking sound that would have sounded terrifying had Han not known him. _Did anything else life changing occur while you were out of my watch?_

“Actually, now that you mention it, yeah!” Han said, taking another sip of his whiskey. “Leia proposed!”

 _Proposed? She proposed_ marriage _?!_

“Hell yeah, she did. You’re talking to the future Prince Han Organa. I’m practically royalty, bitch.”

 _I approve,_ Chewie said. _She knows how to handle a blaster, and she doesn’t put up with any of your bullshit. You have a lot of that._

Han groaned, sliding down in his seat. “But you know what _blows_?!”

_Do you want me to answer that?_

“I want Luke to be my best man—you’re officiating, obviously—but Leia wants him to be her maid of honor. We told him to just _choose_ but he won’t.” Han brought a hand to his forehead. “Chewie, what the hell do I do? My fiancee is trying to steal my best friend!”

 _Your best friend?_ Chewie asked.

“Well, besides _you_ , of course. But you’re more like a brother. A hairy brother. That sheds a lot. Luke doesn’t shed.”

 _You are so wasted right now_.

“You’re not _helping_!” Han complained. He was starting to sound like Luke by now.

_Game over._

“Huh?”

 _I just won this round of Dejarik. And the last round. And the round before that. You owe me a_ lot _of credits, my friend. It might be easier just to gift me the Falcon._

“I’m not drunk enough for that, pal,” Han said to the two Chewies sitting across from him. “Who’s your friend? Do they know you’re a _cheater_?!”

Before he could say anything else, Chewie and his friend got up at the exact same time and shoved Han out of his chair. _Ouch_.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Leia said, suddenly entering.

Chewie shrugged. His friend was gone.

“Chewbacca, you sneaky bastard,” Han grumbled. “How’d you do it?”

 _We’re just playing Dejarik_ , Chewie said innocently. _I think Han’s had a bit much to drink_.

“Aww, poor Han,” Leia cooed, her voice sweet. Han smiled. Finally, _somebody_ had a bit of sympathy around here!

“Thanks, Princess,” he said. “Always knew I could count on you.” Then he turned around and vomited. Yuck. He wondered if Chewie’s friend could help clean that up.

“On second thought,” Leia said. “I think I’ll leave you with Chewie. It’s been a while since you two spent any time together.”

“C’mon Leia, I’m not that drunk. Just ate something a little funny this afternoon. Don’t worry, baby, I’m feeling better now. Bet I can make you feel better too, if you want.” He smiled charmingly, trying to wink.

 _He is extremely drunk_ , Chewie said.

Han was really wishing Chewie hadn’t helped him teach Leia Shyriiwook now. Chewie was supposed to be his best friend, his brother, his co-pilot! And now he was just _exposing_ him like this?! It was cruelty. Maybe it wasn’t actually Chewie... maybe it was his friend who was still mysteriously “vanished.”

“Thanks, Chewie,” Leia said. “I’ll just leave him with you.”

“Hey, don’t forget,” Han said, satisfied he had made his point.

“Forget what?” she deadpanned.

“Whaddaya mean ‘forget what?’ We’re getting married soon!”

Leia grimaced as she turned back at him. “I know.”

“Love ya too, sweetheart!” Han shouted as she left, rubbing his head. “Hey, this hurts!”

 _Oh yeah? Want me to make it hurt even more?_ Chewie threatened.

“No? Why would I want you to make it hurt _more_? I want you to make it hurt _less_!”

 _I’ll give you pain pills after you clean up the puke_.

Han groaned and laid down on the floor. “I’ll do it later,” he said, closing his eyes.

 _You are a child_ , Chewie said as he picked him up off the floor. _I am 200 years old. This is beneath me._

“Mmm,” Han hummed. “This is nice. Have I ever told you how soft you are?”

Chewie chucked. _Many times, my smooth friend. Many times._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehehehehehe


	3. SAND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke ignored him and continued walking closer. “You know, this sand is from Tatooine, where I grew up. I’ve kept it with me as a reminder of home. I do love sand.”
> 
> Luke takes Anakin's advice from the alternate timeline and decides to try a different tactic on Vader. Can be read as a standalone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't planning on writing this but u all commented it and i was bored, so here she is! fair warning, i wrote the first draft an hour ago, edited it at 1am and am now posting. enjoy

“The Emperor has been expecting you,” Vader announced.

“I know, father,” Luke replied, looking straight (gay) ahead as they walked down the hallway. He was so _short_ , barely coming up to Vader’s shoulder. He certainly didn’t inherit that from Vader.

“So, you have accepted the truth.” Was Luke finally going to join him? Accept his role and rule the galaxy with him as father and son? Vader could hardly contain his excitement. The suit could, though, hiding his face and distorting his voice into a flat, threatening monotone. It was useful most days, but maybe if it was designed a _little_ less terrifying, Luke would have joined him a lot sooner.

“I’ve accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.”

Dammit, this kid was stubborn. _Yeah, and where do you think he got that from?_ A voice inside his head asked. It sounded strangely like Kenobi.

“That name no longer has any meaning to me,” Vader said, turning to face Luke, shaking his hand for emphasis. Then he realized he was still holding Luke’s lightsaber—blade end forward. Kenobi would be rolling in his grave at Vader’s apparent lack of remembrance of basic lightsaber safety rules.

“It is the name of your true self. You’ve only forgotten,” Luke insisted, blue eyes staring into his mask. Anakin Skywalker had blue eyes once. “I _know_ there is good in you. The Emperor hasn’t driven it from you fully. That is why you couldn’t destroy me. That’s why you won’t bring me to your Emperor now.” Luke stepped away, resting his cuffed arms on the edge of the railing as he looked over the balcony.

Luke had so much _conviction_. In addition in an inclination toward dramatics, Luke clearly had a stubborn streak, much like Vader himself. But this kind of righteous, optimistic insistence—that was not from Vader, who was all fury and fire. It was from someone else entirely, someone _better_.

Vader was physically unable to cry anymore, but he opened and shut his eyes rapidly, blinking away phantom tears. He looked down at the lightsaber in his hands, trying not to think about Anakin Skywalker’s life. Anakin was weak—unable to save his wife or gain true power. Vader was not.

“I see you have constructed a new lightsaber,” he mused before igniting it.

It was green. Ahsoka Tano once fought with green lightsabers. But so did that troll, Yoda. He never was a fan of the color.

Luke flinched. Did he really think Vader would hurt him? How could he not see that Vader didn’t want his son dead? He wanted him on the throne.

“Your skills are complete,” he continued, putting the blade away. “Indeed, you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.”

“Come with me,” Luke said, unknowingly echoing his mother from decades ago. _Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can_.

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do,” Vader lied. “You don’t know the power of the Dark Side. I _must_ obey my master.”

He had to obey the Jedi masters, why should it be worse to obey Palpatine? The Jedi denied him happiness, left his mother in slavery, and refused to save his wife. At least Palpatine let him kill people when he was angry.

“I will not turn,” Luke said without a trace of hesitation, “and you’ll be forced to kill me.”

“If that is your destiny,” Vader replied automatically. He had always been a bad liar, but the suit covered it up.

As if sensing his thoughts, Luke shook his head, stepping forward. Vader held his ground, no matter how much he wanted to back up.

“Search your feelings, father. You can’t do this,” he insisted, voice growing louder. “I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate!”

Vader was again reminded of Luke’s mother. _You’re a good person. Don’t do this_. They were both wrong. He hadn’t been a good person for a long time.

“It is too late for me, my son,” Vader said, relishing that word _son_. (He had a son!) But he had to move on. “The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.”

Luke stared at him, a strange expression on his face. “Then my father is truly dead.”

Then, before Vader could so much as move forward to restrain Luke in order to bring him before the Emperor as he promised, Luke reached into his pocket, pulling out a small jar.

 _No_. If Vader could have gasped, he would have. “I thought they took away your weapons,” he said in shock.

Luke smiled. “A good Jedi never reveals his tricks.”

Oh, that was almost worse. It was something Master Yoda used to say. _Never reveal his tricks, a good Jedi does_. Vader fought down the impending panic attack by imagining punting the hairy frog through a window.

Then Luke stepped toward him, reaching into the jar. This time, Vader stepped back, almost tripping on his cape.

Luke ignored him and continued walking closer. “You know, this sand is from Tatooine, where I grew up. I’ve kept it with me as a reminder of home. I do _love_ sand.”

What? This couldn’t be true. His son couldn't... love sand?! Especially not after spending _nineteen years on Tatooine_. Was he lying about his name? No, that wouldn’t make sense. Everything else fit so perfectly. But why _sand_?! Vader was itchy just thinking about it.

“You lie!” he said, voice booming. “Sand is coarse, rouch, irritating. It gets everywhere! Nobody could _love_ it.”

“You’ll find I’m full of surprises.”

“Son, please,” Vader said, getting desperate, “you don’t have to do this. We can work something out!”

“We are,” Luke said simply. “I believe this is called ‘aggressive negotiations.’”

“What did you say?”

“Aggressive negotiations?”

Looking at his son, Vader saw the ghost of _her_. A mischievous smirk on a deceptively innocent face. _I call it aggressive negotiations_.

“So, have you changed your mind yet?” Luke asked.

Vader was at an impasse. He couldn’t back down—imagine trying to explain to Palpatine that he failed to capture Luke, a _child_ , because he was holding a little bit of sand—but he couldn’t exactly allow Luke to take him down so easily either. So he decided to follow along with his traditional method. _Negotiations with a lightsaber_.

Igniting his blood-red saber, he faced his son. “It is impossible,” he replied.

“If that is your destiny,” Luke copied his line from earlier. _Damn_ , it sounded much cooler when he said it.

In one impossibly fast movement, Luke threw the sand.

Vader tried to dodge it, but stepped on his cape in the process, falling to the floor in a heap, sand covering his broken body.

“NOOOOOO!” he screamed. Of all the betrayals he’d experienced, this was by far the worst. His own _son_. His own _cape._ It was too much to bear.

“Surrender,” Luke said, standing above him in a brutal parallel. “Join me, and we can end this destructive Empire and bring peace to the galaxy!”

“I can’t,” Vader admitted.

“Why not?!” Luke raised his voice, losing his patience. _There’s his son_. “Can’t you see that what you’re doing is _evil_?!”

“I know, son,” Vader said, coughing. That damned sand had gotten into the respiratory tract of his suit. “But I can’t get up.”

“Huh?” Luke said, all the anger leaving his voice. “You can’t—you can’t get _up_?”

Anakin grumbled. “The sand got into my joints. I _told_ you it gets everywhere.”

“Your _joints_?! How—”

“I’ll explain later, just help me get out of here.”

Luke’s face lit up with hope, completely devoid of anything that hinted he was brutally pouring _sand_ onto his defenseless father moments ago. “So you’ll help us?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Anakin said. “Now let’s _go_ before the Emperor shows up. Unless you’re going to throw sand at him too?”

“No,” Luke mumbled as he walked over to Anakin, reaching his arm under his father’s shoulders. He braced himself and tried to stand up. Nothing happened.

“You’re gonna have to help me here,” he said.

Anakin rolled his eyes under his helmet. It’s not _his_ fault Luke was so small!

Eventually, Luke got him into his X-wing. “It’s gonna be a tight fit.”

“Weren’t you trying to convince me to join you?” Anakin asked. “Why would you fly a one-person ship for that?”

Luke didn’t answer, trying to fix his controls so he could fly out, but something wasn’t turning on.

“It’s that one,” Anakin said, pointing toward the correct lever. “You know, you really should check the wiring on this thing. Regular maintenance is the best way to prevent problems like this from happening.”

“Do _you_ want to fly this, then?!” Luke asked, once again losing his patience.

“Yes,” Anakin answered.

Luke sighed, long and dramatic before taking the controls. “Too bad.”

…

“Luke, that better not be who I think it is,” Princess Organa said, striding forward aggressively.

Luke put his hands out in front of him, as if to surrender or defend himself from an attack, Anakin couldn’t tell. “Leia, I can explain—”

“You better fucking explain, kid!” An older man shouted, walking into the clearing. “Why the _hell_ did you go up there alone?! I thought we agreed _no more rogue solo plans_!! _I’m_ the only rogue Solo around here.”

The Princess whipped around and smacked his arm. “Han,” she hissed. “Not the time.”

“Why?” The man—Han—asked, growing louder. “ _Why_ is this not the time?! We blew up the second Death Star! Is Palpatine or Vader gonna just _waltz_ on down here and try to kill us again, hmm? Are they mad we blew them up? Is that why?”

“Sort of,” Luke said, stepping aside to reveal Anakin sitting in the X-wing. He gave a little wave at Han and the Princess. (He still couldn’t move).

Han’s face fell. “You didn’t.”

“He did,” the Princess confirmed grimly.

“Hey, fuckwad!” Han shouted out of nowhere.

Anakin looked around to see who he was talking to. Then he caught Han’s stare. He pointed a finger at his chest. _Me?_ he mouthed. Then he realized Han couldn’t see his mouth under the mask.

“Yeah, you,” Han said, walking toward him.

Anakin looked toward Luke, beginning to panic. Han looked _very_ angry, and Anakin couldn’t move. He also couldn’t use the force on him, because then Luke would never forgive him. He tried to scoot back in his seat, but he only ended up sliding a couple of inches down toward the ground.

“Fun fact! I slept with your son!” Han shouted triumphantly.

“No you didn’t?” Luke said, sounding just as confused as Anakin felt. This man was far too old for his son. 

“No I didn’t,” Han admitted, “but I totally _could_ have!” He shook his pointer finger.

“Han, you’re engaged to my sister, don’t be gross.”

“Besides, he already told you you’re not his type, _remember_?” the princess said.

“Sister?” Anakin asked, trying to sound as commanding as Vader, but less evil. “You have a sister? Who is she?” Padme was only pregnant the one time, as far as Anakin knew. Could it have been twins? Was that possible?

Luke blushed, looking incredibly uncomfortable. “Well…” he trailed off.

The princess crossed her arms, moving to stand next to Luke. “ _I’m_ your daughter, dumbass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u guys have any more suggestions or requests im down to maybe try them out
> 
> <3


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